Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Sometimes, I just want life to stop moving so fast...and at other times I want it to speed up so I can get to where I'd rather be.
Today is one of the former.
I find myself very nostalgic...and not about anything particular at all...just in general. Sometimes I want to go back to a simpler time that had nothing to do with homework, rehearsals, frustrations about those things, not having enough time to do dishes or clean your room...heck not even having to do dishes or clean your room!! I really miss days of playing in the woods until supper, spotlight at night, SLED RIDING IN THE WINTER!!!!!
At the same time, today is the latter.
I miss my boyfriend a TREMENDOUS amount, but he's 7 hours away...on top of that, he's not feel well today...so I really want to speed up to August so I can be with him everyday instead of 3 days out of 75+. It's extremely painful to be so far apart. At times it's hard to go through each day getting everything accomplished for the day that I need to accomplish because all I want to do is drive to Louisville and sit with him for 5 minutes just to drive back. (Though we all know that's not feasible, so I won't REALLY do it...but only because I don't have the time to...) It sucks that he can't be here to see me in opera...or jazz...or idol. (He's trying, but I won't let him because it's super expensive to make that many trips and even if either of us had that kind of money, he has a lot of schoolwork to do).
My first instinct, being a girl who's struggled with letting people get close to her, is to push him away because somewhere in my mind I think that it will hurt less...HOWEVER, that's the dumbest thing that's ever entered my brain. (And, I must add, that it hasn't entered it for a VERY long time, so don't worry baby!) But the more I go through my days without him...the more it's very evident that it hurts a little more each day because he isn't here. SO pushing him away would be the opposite of a resolution to the situation.
It just sucks.
That's all I can say about it. I can't really put how I'm feeling into words. At the present moment, I don't want to talk to anyone...I don't want to see anyone...I don't want to have this Masquerade party tomorrow night...I don't want to walk downstairs because it's a mess, even though I cleaned it a week ago...
I don't want to talk to B because that means I'll actually have to deal with the pain in my heart. I've always been one to keep everything in (ask anyone who's known me for any significant length of time). Instead of dealing with it at the time it's happening, I tend to displace it somehow. I know I need to talk to B...and actually...*it's taken me 5 minutes just to write this paragraph*...I want to talk to him about it. I want to deal with it. No matter how anyone tries, no one can make me feel better except Bryan...so I'm not sure why on EARTH I'd ever not want to talk to him about it.
Sometimes...I'm a dumb girl.
I'm going to call my boyfriend in 15 minutes when he gets out of his Church History class and actually deal with what's happening in my heart. A novel idea!
...sorry this is super stream-of-consciousness.
*Something tells me that discussing the chapter in "Lies Women Believe" about Emotions in Bible study tonight is going to kick me in the face...as I often let them run my life...see above post.*
Friday, October 26, 2007
It will take us from 5 down to 3!
The top 3 automatically win money...which I could really use! haha!
The genres are Solid Gold Oldies and songs from Movies or Musicals!
I'll be singing
"Think" by Aretha Franklin
"The Girl in 14G" by Kristin Chenoweth
For Aretha...I'm definitely wearing a long formal red dress...black gloves...and a black feather boa!! HAHAHA
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Idol veteran Samantha Bartlow really got the crowd going with her performance of Shania Twain’s “Man I Feel Like A Woman.” Strutting around the stage and having fun, Bartlow stayed true to the song’s lighthearted tone but sang with great precision and pitch. - DA*sorry that took so long (KATY) I was on Fall Retreat with College Church all weekend*
I'll update about that as soon as I get the chance!
It was AMAZING!!!!!!!
Friday, October 19, 2007
Those of you who know me know that I do NOT sing country very well...at ALL!
(though judging by the accent one would think opposite) HOWEVER!
This girl + country music = NOT A GOOD SOUND
AND since my little battle with the laryngitis this week...it's going to be even worse.
I changed my song from "Independence Day" by Martina McBride
"Man! I Feel Like a Woman" by Shania Twain
because I still, today, don't have much of a head voice, but I DO have a chest voice (thank you Med Express and your steroids)
we'll see how it goes tonight!
I really want to make it to the top 5...but I'm REALLY nervous about it.
(This is always the worst round for me.)
wish me luck!
p.s. I am glad that my Crousers and my love were not swept away by the tornadoes in Louisville last night.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
I'm sitting here at the Evansdale Library. I have a lot of things due on Monday and will be out of town this weekend, so I had this great plan to get everything done tonight and tomorrow.
Why am I blogging?
I'm glad you asked!
I'm so frustrated that if I don't vent my frustrations...at this point I will go home and sleep instead of doing my work.
Here's why I'm frustrated.
I have to do song translations for my lessons (totally normal thing) but the way my teacher has them set up *which is actually quite brilliant* is we do them in an excel spreadsheet which ends up getting added to the database of all his students...so in the end we have 234234982379 words from other pieces. Which is a great idea because that way we can just look up the words in the data base instead of having to go to the dictionary, etc specifically because a lot of songs are about the same things!
The downfall to this is that I have to have both a dictionary AND a computer (because the online translation sites that I've found don't give you the part of speech)
If I translate the words in my music...I have to go back and put them in the computer anyway...so it's twice as much work.
I come to the Evansdale Library *the music library* to get dictionaries and to use the computer...
where are the German, French, and Italian dictionaries?
AT THE FLIPPING DOWNTOWN LIBRARY!
so now, I'm here...can't do anything productive...
The good news?
I have an Italian and a German dictionary at my house...that I JUST pulled from my locker last week. (Having them at school did me no good because there was no computer.)
So why don't you just go home, Sam?
THAT too is a good question!
Because I also have research on a "take home quiz" which is really a 2 page paper, to do tonight as well and the book I need is here...
The frustration with this one:
It's supposed to be a way for him (our extremely unorganized teacher) to guage how well we've been grasping the material of the class...
it defeats the entire purpose when we have to go to sources other than our text book and lecture notes to get the information.
I mean...if you want to know if we are getting the material from class...you should give us an assignment that reflects the material in class.
The topic is something to the effect of 'discuss Beethoven and his forms...how they progressed and his symphonies and how they progressed and how they influenced other composers.
Not a hard question.
However, he's so unorganized that the only things I have written in my notes from his lectures are
"Beethoven stretched forms"
PLUS I left that information in the car because I was planning on concentrating on the translations at the present moment!
ok so I pretty much just wasted about 10 minutes whining about stuff that is easily fixed.
But I STILL don't understand why they wouldn't have stinking dictionaries at the library!!!
IT'S THE LIBRARY!
I don't care if you have 2 of them!
I'm sorry you read this...and are now thinking...'geez, stop being a brat.'
I'm working on that
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I have a HUGE case of senioritis (6 weeks to go!!!! woohoo) so I am extremely lazy in the homework department this semester *not that I REALLY have that much to begin with* but without homework...I STILL have a ton to do, and I can never quite figure out where all the time in my day actually goes.
I made a schedule with classes just to keep track of those *because there are a lot* but I decided that it would be in my best interest to actually write out my full schedule instead of just my class schedule since I have so much other stuff that needs to get done. One HUGE thing being my quiet times. It's super easy for me to skip over them or cut them very short because I'm so busy. I'm not the kind of girl who can get up early in the morning and read...because I just go back to bed. I also can't do it at night before bed because I'm so tired by the end of the day that I can't concentrate. I also am not always aware of where my free time actually is throughout the day, SO hopefully this schedule will help me out a bit!
It will at least let me take a look at where my time is REALLY going and will allow me to make changes as necessary to get my priorities straight!
*edit* I'm still not quite sure why this thing hates me, but there really is a column of times to the left of Monday...they start at 7:30am and go to 10pm by the half hour...if anyone REALLY cares that much.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
I've had a few problems speaking off and on the past 2 days, but today I woke up (or shall I say...laid in bed all night not sleeping) with a bit more of a chesty cough, a sore throat, and a deep grizzled war veteran sounding speaking voice.
I took my 2 tlbs of Robitussin and went on my way to work.
About 30 minutes after arriving...my wonderful medicine started to kick in. Those of you who actually know me, know that I don't drink and I RARELY take medicine...so this stuff makes me FLOAT!
We got busy at 9....and didn't get off of a waiting list until 3...with 7 servers on the floor...only!
So here I am, high as a kite basically, the speaking voice getting gradually worse from having to yell back to the grill cooks, and speak loudly to our elderly costumers...
So now...I can barely make intelligible sounds come out of my mouth.
I started asking to be taken off the floor at noon...but we were SLAMMED so I continued to whisper to my tables the rest of the day. I waited on 96 people today...hahaha
tomorrow...I will not be helping lead worship at church because even if I can speak...there is NO way I'll be able to sing...
*shrug* it happens!
I suppose I'll be talking via flash cards for the remainder of the day to give myself some vocal rest.
To end on a high note,
My MOMMY IS HERE!!!!
She and lil' brudder are making potato soup in the kitchen as I type this!
We are seeing "Annie" tomorrow at the CaC
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
listen...er...read this amazingness!!!
The oboe professor here plays with the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra...who does the music for the operas. She gave my voice teacher 2 passes for the final dress rehearsal to Puccini's Madame Butterfly for Thursday at 7. My voice teacher commutes from Maryland, so he can't go...he sent an email out saying that they were up for grabs if we could convince him that we would actually go. SO long story short, my friend Amanda and I scored 2 free tickets to see Madame Butterfly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is only the second opera I've seen live!
My first opera experience was absolutely AMAZING!
When we were in Vienna with choir in December 2004, we saw Verdi's La Traviata in the Wiener Staatsoper with Stefania Bonfadelli as Violetta and Miroslav Dvorsky as Alfredo! (I don't know who they are haha) BUT it was amazing!!!!!!!!!!
Amanda have been having "Sam and Amanda time" on Thursdays and typically we watch operas...so it's really fun that we get to go see one FOR FREE!!!!!!!! TOMORROW!
I'm so excited, I think my head just might fall off!!!
and on the other hand, I feel so horrible, that I think I might just cut off my head! Amanda will be driving as I will be doped up on Robitussin. *ick*
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Friday, October 5, 2007
There are 9 of us, and they are eliminating 2.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty excited!
I'm singing "Heartbreaker" by Pat Benetar and I can't wait!
THEN afterwards....KARAOKE AT THE VFW!!!!!!!!
I miss B. :(
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
and according to Smitty, 'it's the happiest he's seen me in months' !!!!! I definitely agree with his statement. I never really thought about it until he said it, but it's completely true. Being hundreds of miles away from the one you love is the hardest thing EVER! It's a pain I've never really felt, at least not like I do when he's gone. I realize that some people are in situations where their significant other is farther away...perhaps over seas, and they don't even get to talk everyday, so I know that I really have it made in terms of distance. But in my mind, any distance is too far away from him.
He got here Saturday afternoon and the past couple days have been nothing short of wonderful! (I love fall break!!!! Too bad WVU hasn't picked up on that one.)
We haven't done anything huge or super out of the ordinary or anything like that...but we've done things a couple does! Like...a couple that lives in the same place!
All the normal couple stuff...
and it's been the best few days I've had in a long time!
I can't wait to live in the same place next year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*time to do homework so I can hang out with the boyfriend for the last few hours he's here with me in person until Thanksgiving break...* (yea...beware for some sad words within the next two months) :\