I feel the need to speak on an issue that doesn't get addressed enough.
Christian men, stop dragging women along if you have no interest in them. For the life of me, I cannot understand why you continue to invest emotional energy in the women in your life if you have no interest in pursuing a relationship with them. I'm not talking about causal friends who just happen to hang out once in awhile and have surface level conversations. I'm talking about the guys who give specialized attention to one of their female friends on a consistent basis with no intentions of the relationship progressing whatsoever.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO A WOMAN'S HEART!
I have multiple friends (3 without even dwelling on it) in this situation:
A guy starts hanging out with her alone consistently, texting her constantly, giving her compliments on a regular basis, having her spend time with his family, etc. He doesn't do this with anyone else. It's not as if she is part of a group of people he is inviting to do all these things. When asked by the girl, or others, what his intentions are, he gives generic responses like "I'm not ready for a relationship" or "I don't really know how I feel about you, I need time to think" or any of those generic statements women hear. If the guy doesn't feel anything beyond platonic feelings for said girl, he should change how he is treating her because obviously, he's given her the wrong impression. I understand how this happens. Sometimes, guys are just completely oblivious to the situation, but once it's brought into the light, he needs to man up and change his behavior.
First of all, the girl shouldn't have to sit you, the man, down to have a chat about this. You should make your intentions clear from the beginning. If you are interested, GREAT! If you're not, stop acting like it! Perhaps you didn't realize the magnitude of your actions. So, once this has been brought to your attention, you need to be very cautious about how you handle this delicate friendship. Simply stating that you are not ready for a relationship does NOTHING to remedy the situation without seriously tweaking the way you interact with her. You can tell her you're not interested until you're blue in the face, but if you still text her constantly, invite her to hang out alone, etc. it's your problem, not hers for 'reading to too much into it' which females get accused of enough as it is.
Men - If you have a guy friend who is doing this to a girl, you need to man up and tell him how it is! Stop sucking as friends and rebuke your brother(s) in Christ!
And to the ladies (who aren't completely without fault in some cases) - If a guy tells you he's not interested, but continues to treat you like he is...you need to stop wasting your time. Let it be known that he is not acting like a man of Christ, then cut him out. In the same way that his actions speak louder than his words (in regards to continuing to treat you the same even after the "conversation") your actions speak louder than words as well. Simply telling him he's being a tool while allowing him to get away with toying with your heart will do him no good in the future.
Anyway, sorry I just went on and on about that, but I'm very frustrated with Christian men who act like babies and the men (and women) who let them get away with it.
Stop acting like tools. Man up and start acting in a manner worthy of the gospel!
3 years ago