Monday, February 18, 2008

80s quiz!!!!!!

I figured it was an ok time to do a quiz on my blog!

Too good to pass up (80s quiz)

1.How old were you in 1980?
I wasn't

2. How old were you in 1989?
almost 5

3. Were you a Toys R Us kid?
not particularly, but I DO remember the entire theme song

4. Did you watch Transformers?

5. Did you see E.T. on the big screen?

6. Did you own a Lite Bright?
No, but I remember them

7. Who is your Favorite Golden Girl?
Dorothy...I often get compared to her actually

8. When someone says; Who you gonna call? You think?

9. What was your favorite toy?
P.J. was actually my "password" from my if something happened and she sent a neighbor or someone else to pick me up from school or where ever, they had to say "Your mommy told me to tell you that P.J. Sparkles sent me to pick you up." That way, I knew I could go with them!

10. Did you have a Pogo Ball?

11. Did you listen to New Kids on the Block?
OH YES! haha my daddy still will tease me about running around the house going "new kids new kids"

12. What New Kid did you have a crush on?
all of them, I LOVED boys when I was little. I mean, I still love boys, but these days it's A boy...not multiple boys.

13. Did you play M.A.S.H?

14. Did you watch The Care Bears?
yes! My room was decorated in them until my little brother came along, and I had a Care Bears birthday party when I turned 1!

15. Did you have Jelly bracelets?

16. Did you have a charm necklace and/or bracelet?

17. Did you own a glo-worm?

18. Did you ever own a slap bracelet?
yes tons! I STILL own a slap bracelet!

19. The Breakfast Club or Sixteen Candles?
I've never seen 16 candles.

20. Did you have a crazy hair style?
haha, just super long and 90 I got the female bowl cut though...we won't go there.

21.What was your first bike?
I remember learning to ride my first "big girl bike". A girl named Heather in my neighborhood in Pikeville taught me to ride as soon as I learned, I ran outside and go my mom to make her watch...then I proceeded to ride it into a ditch, tossing myself face first into the mud. I cried for EVER!

22. Name one thing you still own from your childhood?
A few stuffed animals I think. I also have a shirt from my first t-ball team when I was 4. I has "Samantha" on the back of it...when I was a little older *not much though* I used to put it on my dog. HAHA

23. Did you have a Cabbage Patch Kid?

24. Did you dress like Madonna?
not until college for an 80s party! haha but it was the less scandalous version of her

25. Go-bots or Transformers?
I didn't watch either...I'm beginning to think I need to do a 90s quiz instead... :(

26. Did you watch Miami Vice?

27. Did you own a pair of Jelly Shoes?
yes, and they caused blisters on my feet, so my mom got rid of them and I wasn't allowed to have them anymore. In fact, when they came back out like...2 years ago...she advised me not to get them because of what happened to my feet during my childhood. I listened...but just because they were ugly and stupid. haha

28. Did you own a Trapper Keeper?
Not in the 80s, but I DEFINITELY went through my fair share of Trapper Keepers

29. Atari or Nintendo

30. Did you play Pac-Man?
still do but Tetris and Dr. Mario are my specialties.

31. Which was better: Jem and the Holograms or Barbie and the Rocker?
Barbie and the Rocker!!! I had a coloring book of that!

32. He-Man or She-Ra?

33. What movie scared you the most?
IT! hahaha

34. Did you try to dance like Michael Jackson?
I listened to oldies with my parents in the 80s *as I was only 5 when it ended* but NOW I dance like Michael Jackson

35. What Is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear flux capacitor, great scott?
Back to the Future

36. What other colors did Pepsi come in?
pepsi clear!! ewwww

37. Roger Rabbit Or Howard The Duck?
Roger Rabbit, but only because I watched it my Freshman year of college

38. Did you ever beg your parents to have your school picture taken with the LASER background?
HAHAHAHA no! BUT I have the amazing late 80s/early 90s mauve and sea foam green with the large vase full of color coordinated sticks in the background picture!!

39. Do you know what the Ninja Rap is?

40. Do you know why people cringe when they hear the word BUCKNER?

41. Can you name the family members from National Lampoons Vacation movies?
haha no :(

42. Did you have pump sneakers?
no, but I think it'd be awesome to have them now!

43. Did you own HYPER COLOR shirts?
yes I most certainly did

44. Did you watch Smurfs?
OH YES!!!!

Saturday, February 9, 2008


(I wrote this in a Word document last night because my internet has been down.)

I can’t sleep tonight. I find myself on the verge of tears every five minutes or so. My mind is racing with movie clip versions of memories – one right after the other, in no particular sequence. I relive a moment from middle school and then right after that is junior prom. This nostalgia often comes coupled with the contemplation of relationships I’ve had, and where they are now. Tonight is no different. The first place I naturally go is to relationships with those who’ve passed. The memories are so vivid that I can actually see it all happen over again.

I see myself sitting at Josh’s computer with him and Crystal as they introduced me to She insisted that I watch the ‘Fluffy Puff Marshmallow Commercial’ and one about a jump roping contest…I was hooked right away. She looked gorgeous that day, and I couldn’t even tell she was wearing a wig…

That was the last time I saw her.

I can see Matt dancing around the stage as a Russian in the bar scene of Fiddler on the Roof. The rest of the cast and I would always watch that scene from backstage…every night. To this day when I see a color guard do the bottle dance I think of him. Two weeks before he died, he saw my mom and asked about me. I was really upset that I wasn’t in town until the following weekend. I can’t even remember the last time I saw him…

After all the memories of lost loved ones pass (there are many more), I go straight into seeing what seems like my entire life. I can still remember seeing Bethany the night we became best friends. We were in the 6th grade at a sleepover. I’d never seen her in my life, and on May 24, I will be her maid of honor. Thinking about Bethany comes all the ridiculous things we’ve done…making up our own modern dance version of the Russian song from The Nutcracker…trying to cook together…dances…church lock-ins…choir…

These thoughts don’t take time to pause and let me look longer…they just keep going to the next one. After my closest high school and college friends comes the part that really makes my heart ache…

Where are we all now?

Some are in other states, some are still at home, some are getting married in a couple weeks others in a few months. Some have just come back into my life and others have recently moved away. I’ve had reunions where we all talked about the old times all the while acting as if we didn’t realize the group of us would never be in the same place altogether again…deep down we all knew. Those are the times when hugs are longer and tighter, and tears are choked back until the friends become small figures in the rearview mirror.

I’m about to move home to a place that I could navigate in my sleep. A place where everything is different, but nothing’s really changed. Part of me dreads it. Like honest to goodness dread because I never thought I’d live there again. My friends who are there have husbands and babies and real jobs and it’s all completely surreal to me. When I’m home, I think about how we used to talk about having babies and husbands and how the biggest responsibility we had was taking out the trash…now they are living that part of their lives. It’s a pretty hard concept to grasp, tonight more so than usual.

There is a part of me that’s excited to go back home though albeit a small part…it’s still a part. I’m looking forward to rekindling some of those relationships that have faded into memories. I’m excited about hanging out with my parents. I’m pumped about not paying bills!

…but I’m still terrified.

I don’t want to leave my friends. Maybe that’s why I’ve been so reluctant to hang out with any of them. I’m leaving in a little over a month and honestly, I think I’m scared of getting any closer because I know it’s almost over. I’ve never been one to push people away just because circumstances were changing, but maybe I’m turning into one of them. Do you know how many times I’ve been asked to do something, but declined for absolutely no reason? A lot. I don’t really enjoy sitting on my couch watching movies by myself for hours (sometimes I love it)…but that’s what daily life looks like for me. I come home from work, lay around on the couch watching horrible reruns of dumb shows, eat (maybe), decline invitations to do anything that wasn’t scheduled ahead of time, call Bryan, barely say two words, get really sleepy, go to bed (which sometimes means I sleep all night, and sometimes *like tonight* I stare at the ceiling trying to get my brain to be quiet), then I get up and do it all the next day.

I don’t think my life sucks or anything like that (don’t get me wrong), I just realize that I’m making excuses to keep from spending time with people…I’m going to kick myself for that when I’m having another one of these nights in about 6 months. I think I’ve just decided to make the most of it, instead of balling up on the couch for hours.

This entry really helped…


Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Time to brag

Sorry folks, but I have to get this out!
I mean just look at him!!!

This is him being artsy.

This is him talking to me on the phone and showing me his new hair cut.

This is him being hot.

On top of good looks, he "seems like he has a brain," says my manager at work!
On a scale of 1-10, I'd give him a 28!

Happy 9 month-iversary love!

Monday, February 4, 2008

A Piano Trio and our sinful nature

I haven't had much to say on this thing lately. I'm not really sure why today is any different, as I should be getting ready to run a bunch of errands including going to the bank *with 10 days of tip money...they are going to LOVE me with all my $1 bills*, taking my sick roommate and our other friend, Scott to the Dr, dropping off prescriptions, eating lunch, meeting Lou at Forever 21, and learning the rest of "The Prayer" for my music rehearsal with Ryan tonight...but instead of preparing for my morning, I find myself unable to tear myself away from this blog.
It's weird.
It could be the beautiful piece playing in the background via I'm listening to a classmate's composition that was premiered on the New Music Concert back in the fall semester. I'm having trouble fathoming the fact that I know the kid that wrote this. So often, I think "wow that Mozart, what a guy, he was amazing, etc." so it's weird to think, "I sat next to the composer in a couple classes." haha It's just hard for me to wrap my mind around I suppose! Another thing that really got me when I first heard it is how it's not all about the piano (which he is playing) there are a lot of times where the other instruments take precedence. It's just really nice!
For those of you interested, go to youtube and type in Zack's his piano trio (piano, violin, and cello). There are three movements and it's very tonal and GORGEOUS!! I typically can't STAND new music because it's so far removed from any sense of tonality, but this is different. So, check it out if you are so inclined.

Now for the real reason for this post:
Recently, it's started to become apparent to me JUST how depraved we really are. Even though I've heard how no one is good apart from God, and I've read it at least a dozen never resonated with me as much as it has been lately. It started when I was at work a couple weeks ago. I had 90 minutes of sleep, so needless to say I was pretty crabby pants. I found myself having pep talks with myself to insure that I wouldn't take out my crabbyness on those I work with. 20 things could go right, but if I got one bad tip from a table or had to make one too many trips because people at the table couldn't tell me what they wanted all at once...I had to physically stop and remind myself not to throw my tray in the tray holder or smart off to the grill cooks! It was a struggle all day. That is completely opposite of how I usually operate at work. (Granted, at times I do throw my tray in the tray holder, and there are the occasional eye rolls of annoyance, but they are typically very few and far between.)
To continue this realization...I was reading Donald Miller's "Blue like Jazz" (which I don't recommend or not recommend yet...I'm not far enough through it to have an opinion one way or the other on the book) but anyway...
He was having a conversation with one of his friends, I believe it was 'Tony the beat poet' about all the things happening in the Congo (this was published in 2003) and they ended up discussing what makes a person do things like that...rape, murder, etc. and figured out that anyone is capable of such things. Of course, at first I was like "NOT ME, THAT'S HORRIBLE" but why not me? Apart from God no one is what makes me any better than anyone else?
I'm not.
Also...we have to teach kids right from wrong. They don't just instinctively know! I can't believe I haven't realized that part at least, sooner than now! haha It actually makes me laugh. I'm still struggling with the idea that not only is my previous idea completely wrong: 'not everyone is bad, there is good in everyone, etc.' but it's the exact opposite.
Total depravity never meant much to me until now.
I'm finally starting to understand when Bryan advises me not to do's not that he doesn't trust me/thinks I'm going to cheat on him/anything's that our nature is SINFUL, and no matter how 'good' you think you are...and no matter how much you love Jesus...our tendencies as humans are still not good ones!

The entire time I'm typing this...I STILL want to say things like...granted, I wouldn't murder...or...blah blah blah I wouldn't do this or that...
I'm still struggling with this idea that I'm better than other people.
I'm not.
I'm just as sinful as every other person on this planet.

It's hard to wrap my head around it.
I still can't really do it...