I am a people person. I thrive on the company of others. Too many days by myself starts to get to me. Today, the past month of being alone in Chapmanville finally came to a head. I'm not sure what exactly caused it, but I went to work about 30 minutes early to eat, and as I was sitting there, I found it difficult to choke back the tears.
I miss my boyfriend. I miss my friends in Morgantown. I miss the girls/guys I worked with. Generally, I just miss being around people that know me.
Now, I always miss someone, but growing up 5 hours away from the rest of my family has given me this way of dealing with it...I just don't. I guess that's the best way to put it. I don't typically consciously miss anyone. It's just an emotion that's always been there, but doesn't come out very often. I think I'm just used to it honestly. I don't necessarily think it's because I don't deal with it...I just know how to deal with it I guess. I don't know!
Anyway...once I talked to my friend Heather at work (we've practically grown up together) I felt MUCH better. Just being around that ONE person that knows me (even though we were never super close friends...we have TONS of memories together) made me ok again. *I know girls are emotional, and this post is nothing but that.*
I just need to find something to do. Not necessarily to occupy my time, or distract myself, but here's my typical day:
I sleep in *as late as possible*
take a shower
go to work evening shift
talk to Bryan (which has been a lot of silence on my end because I do nothing, sorry babe)
go to bed
I sleep in as late as I can because I have nothing else to do. This morning, I got up, went for a super short jog *it's WAY hard to jog when you haven't done it in years* ate breakfast, showered, then sat around until it was time to go to work.
I'm so used to being so busy all the time that this is KILLING me. I don't need to be as busy as I was *by ANY means* and I have learned how to relax since graduation, but this is the complete opposite of being busy. Bryan used to talk to me all the time about how I always needed something to do and I didn't know how to relax. Well, that was VERY true and I'm VERY thankful for him pointing that out because now I'm ok with laying around and just resting. HOWEVER, after 2 months of that...it's time to find something to do. My emotions need it. I know that might sound like a dumb statement, but it's very true. AND did I mention that 95% of the time I'm at my house...I'm alone, with kitties because my mom works 2 jobs.
I was in Morgantown last week, and it was the best I've felt since I've been home. I spent the majority of time with my roommate, Brandon, and Shane (three of my favorite people) and it did WONDERS for my soul. I have to head back up the day after Mother's Day to get the rest of my stuff and help clean the house because Sommer is moving out. I can't wait to be back there!
Anyway, this is just a bunch of ramblings, but I needed to say it all.
I feel much better!
5 weeks ago