Hello again!
I seem to go through phases with this blogging thing. I apologize that it's been such a long time!
Things have been interesting lately.
This stage of life is very transitional...and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I kind of feel like I'm floating in some sort of limbo *not that I think limbo actually exists, just for the record*. I was asked the entire month of break how it felt to be a graduate. My response, obviously, was, "well...ask me when my friends go back to class and I go to work full time because right now it just feels like break." Now that my friends HAVE gone back to class and I've gone to work...it's just weird. I don't hate being at Bob Evans 4 days a week as much as I thought I would. People are much more relaxed during the slow weekday morning shifts than they EVER are on the weekend, so it's easier to work with them. It's just weird to slow down. A good weird!! But weird just the same. For the past 4 1/2 years I've done nothing but run run run run run because of my insane music major/theatre minor schedule. I actually feel extremely lazy these days. I go to work, come home, sit around, depending on the day I might hang out with someone, but not often, call the boyfriend, go to sleep and it starts all over the next morning. My room is kind of a mess, I need to do laundry, I need to do a bunch of things, but I'm not making the time to do them.
Quiet time? What's that? I've been not busy for a long time, and yet I still don't take time to spend with God. If ANY time is easiest to do it...it should be now in my life.
I also have the spiritual autobiography to write for admittance to SBTS (which is on the board for today and tomorrow) but I've been dreading it...and thus have put it off until now.
I think somewhere in my head, I feel guilty for not spending time with God...and I feel like I can't write about my spiritual life because it feels like lying? or something ridiculous like that.
I DO know, however, that it's not going to write itself...so I need to get breakfast and then get started.
Sorry if this wasn't the wonderful, exciting update you've been waiting for.
1 year ago
3 comments:
Welcome to grown up world. Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it. It's funny how when spending time with God appears to be easiest, it becomes more difficult than it was before. I can definitely relate. I hope things begin to fall into place for you :o)
I can relate, too. Grown up world is confusing (especially when you have to deal with insurance companies!!). And time management is much different in the "real world." Last night I sat down and cried because I was so tired... and I felt like I had no reason to be. I went to work, came home, didn't go to the gym (bad Beth), did the dishes, ate dinner, did two loads of laundry, cleaned the house a little bit, and watched TV. But somehow, I was completely drained.
In Morgantown I worked, lead a Bible study and took care of my grandmother while I "waited for Wes" for year :), and I felt similarly (but this is different, obviously!). It's strange. If you ever want to verbally process this weird phase of life, I'm free :)
While I'm still only in the pseudo real world (as in I still don't have to pay for everything by myself)I guess I thought that since I finally have actual time, that it would be MUCH easier to spend time with God. I'm learning daily that it IS a discipline and if I don't stop, sit down, and do it...it really won't happen.
Beth-
Time management IS really different in the "real" world...which is why I have been SOOOO lazy! In my head I'll always be able to do that load of laundry later...or I'll finish my paper later, or do the dishes later because I actually have a later. When I was in class there was NOOOO such thing as later. It was 'do it now, or wait a month because that's the next time you'll stop long enough to breath'.
I'm being extremely lazy and my justification for it is 'well I finally have time to < insert whatever non-productive thing I'm doing at the time here > for once in my life, so I'm going to do it.
Now...I can understand this behavior for maybe a small bit of the holiday break...but let's face it. It's been almost a month an a half! It's time for me to grow up and out of this 'being a sloth all the time is ok' phase!
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