Content? I'm trying...

I tell you one thing, learning to be content in all situations is way harder than I ever thought it would be. I go through phases, but I think if you would peel back all the layers, even when it looks like I'm content...I don't know that I am. I'm speaking specifically about being here this summer. (I didn't want anyone to think it has anything to do with ANYTHING else.) I need to learn to be content doing nothing, or working, or sitting around at a rehearsal to walk on stage, stand there, not rehearse the song/dance for the only scene I'm in, and go sit back stage again.
I need to be content when my friends are VERY late for things, or when they fall asleep by mistake or accidently go to the wrong theatre. Those things aren't their fault. I'm sure Tabi didn't mean to misunderstand me and go to the wrong theatre. And really NONE of these things actually matter in the grand scheme of the world...it's just me being SUPER over-dramatic and I know that.

UGH!

Praying about being content is kind of like praying for patience...God sticks you in the middle of situations and says...deal with this. And ya know, I don't think I would deal with it at all in any other way. YaY God for knowing what you're doing!

Another thing...a kid I used to be decent friends with is now in jail for various crimes...not cool!

Also...keep the Guy and Sparks families in your prayers. Ashley Guy died yesterday morning and the reasons aren't really known. I didn't know Ashley very well AT ALL...as in, she was married to Patrick Sparks...I went to school with Patrick's younger sister Jennifer, and their mom has been my hair stylist since middle school. Ashley and Patrick have been married MAYBE 2 years...and they have a 3 month old daughter...so please keep the families in your prayers.

She was involved with The Aracoma Story (TAS) years ago, so it's hit some of the members of the cast pretty hard. It's hard anyway because this is the 5th person that I know of that has passed away that was heavily involved in TAS, so being at the park for rehearsals is always kind of hard on some.
Jennifer Williams died when she was about 12...I was only 6 or even a little younger. She lived up here on the hill, so I remember a few things about her but not much. Her parents Mike and Wendy are still active with TAS and every year there's a girl that looks a lot like Jennifer...this year is no different.
Ron Moxley died...hmm what summer was that? 2002? I think. His daughter Cathleen is a year younger than me. I did the Shawnee Trail with him for a couple years.
Matt Patterson died 2 summers ago? He was in Fiddler on the Roof. His first summer with TAS was my first also. He was about 5 years older than me.
Ruby Sutter died this past fall. Ruby was one of the greatest ladies you could ever meet and I've been in shows with her since I started there. It's especially weird to be back without Ruby there. Last summer I saw her at "Lil' Abner" and she was very excited that I was coming back for this summer...
and now Ashley.

wow...I don't know that I ever really realized all that before...


that's enough for now
this post definitely was very stream of consciousness...sorry about that

Johanna

My Sondheim clip of the day is Bernadette Peters singing "Johanna" from Sweeney Todd This is one of my favorite songs in the show! :D

Stephen Sondheim

I have always admired the genuis of Stephen Sondheim (Into the Woods is one of my favorite musicals), but recently I've developed a great passion for his work. I'm not super familiar with much of his stuff, unfortunately, but I hope to remedy that soon. I think I want to do an All Sondheim recital. I know that at SBTS, I have to do a recital, but I'm not sure what the requirements are. I'm sure they would let me do a specitality recital, and just not count it as my real recital? *shrug* I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I get there, but I'd LOVE to do a Sondheim recital, so today I spent $100 on Amazon.com and purchased all 4 volumes of his vocal selections, a book about the his shows *for research purposes*, and 3 CDs: a ballads of stephen sondheim cd, and the 2 disk Bernadette Peters (LOVE HER) Sondheim etc. set! :D
That's pretty cheap for all of that stuff. 5 books and 3 Cds!! Come on!
I'm going to start doing research right now because this is something I REALLY would love to do.

...I'd also love to learn every single vocal piece Debussy ever wrote, but there are a TON of them! AND they're in French...and while my French diction isn't atrocious...it's still pretty bad!


Anyway, I'm going to leave you with 3 videos for your viewing pleasure!
First:
Bernadette Peters singing "No one is Alone" from Into the Woods



Second:
Bernadette Peters singing "Children with Listen" from Into the Woods



Third:
The only youtube video I could find of a girl singing one of my favorite Debussy pieces, "C'est l'extase". I really like her voice! I must warn you that French Art Song is somewhat of an aquired taste. I LOVE IT, and it's ok if you don't! :D



Enjoy!

New Apartment!!!!!!

Hello folks!
Well, the living with Hannah fun is going to work out! :D She found an apartment that she actually almost signed a lease for last month, but her roommate fell through at the last minute. It's still available because of another string of events that made the guys living in it (friends of hers) have to stay an extra month. SO we have an apartment!!!!!!
WOOHOO!!!!

I haven't even seen it in person, but I've seen pictures, and I don't even care that much because Hannah's the one driving around everywhere looking for them, and since she was super pumped, I was like OK! :D

Here's the only thing I dislike about it...



That's right...HIDEOUS University of Louisville inspired bathroom...ick!

Everything else is great though!!! Hannah and I are ok with the black in the bathroom, but the red is a little offensive. (And it is actually red, not orange, but the picture doesn't so that too well) Any suggestions? The only thing we can think of is tile paint?

<3

Finally, something to do!!!

Hello internet world!
I'm writing today to tell you that I finally have something to do with my time! Until now, I've been doing whatever I can to entertain myself, but mostly I just get up in the morning, practice a little piano, help organize some other part of my parents' house, and then go to work. I've been trying to reach the lady to play softball for over a month, but I've had no response. She doesn't have an answering machine, and I'm assuming since she doesn't know the number, she isn't answering the phone...but really, if the SAME number called you almost everyday for a month, wouldn't you eventually answer it!? Well she hasn't, so it doesn't look like I'll get to play softball this summer, which actually is kind of hard for me to grasp since I love it so much and have been looking forward to playing since LAST summer.
BUT...
The Aracoma Story (our Native American heritage play) needed singer/dancers for one scene - the settler scene. My friend Jamie is directing this and she asked if I could do it. Well...I didn't audition for the show to begin with because 1. I really don't like it very much due to past directors turning it into a horrible mess, and 2. I work evenings. It actually got cancled this year, but Jamie and crew fought to keep it running leaving 20 days to put it up. A few of her singers dropped out due to various circumstances and she needed another one so she didn't have to sing. I can't be there final dress rehearsal OR the 20 and 21 because of prior commitments, but she said if I could do it, she'd just fill in for me those 3 nights. I talked to my boss at Bobs and for the 6 days it actually conflicts with my work schedule, they are going to let me come in and work mornings, so I don't have to take 2 weeks off of work to do the show!!!! I'm super pumped! I only get two rehearsals though...this Saturday and next Saturday, so hopefully, I'll pick it up quickly. I know I get to sing a verse in the song and I'll be dancing around like a happy settler lady! :D I'm pretty excited! I think I'm more excited just to have something else to do with my time.

Although...this organizing the house for my parents has actually been kind of fun...do I see a future as a personal organizer!? Maybe! If the wedding coordinator dream doesn't work out! ;)

Have a good day!

Oh yeah! I almost forgot! I will not be living on campus this fall because I realized that I can save $200 a month by living with a roommate offcampus. SO, Bryan has a friend, Hannah, that ALSO needed a roommate, so we decided to live together. We've been doing apartment searching and she's actually got appointments to see...3 or 4 of them this afternoon!!!!!!!! Hopefully, we can find one quickly that doesn't make us start paying rent on June 15...I'd rather not have to pay for 2 months I won't be there.

Kbye

My name!

I saw this on Beth's blog and decided to follow in her footsteps. I don't know how to do that fancy thing where I can post the website I got it from with the words "website" and have it be an active link, but that's ok!
I went here:
http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp

And typed in my name! I think it's pretty accurate! What do YOU think!?

You entered: Samantha Lee Bartlow
There are 18 letters in your name.
Those 18 letters total to 64
There are 7 vowels and 11 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:Hebrew Female Listen; name of God.
Aramaic Female Listener.


Your number is: 1

The characteristics of #1 are: Initiating action, pioneering, leading, independent, attaining, individual.

The expression or destiny for #1:
A number 1 Expression denotes the skilled executive with keen administrative capabilities. You must develop the capacity to be a fine leader, sales executive, or promoter. You have the tools to become an original person with a creative approach to problem solving, and a penchant for initiating action. Someone may have to follow behind you to handle the details, but you know how to get things going and make things happen. You have a good mind and the ability to use it for your advancement. Because of these factors, you have much potential for achievement and financial rewards. Frequently, this expression belongs to one running a business or striving to achieve a level of accomplishment on ones talents and efforts. You have little need for much supervision, preferring to act on your own with little restraint. You are both ambitious and determined. Self-confident and self-reliant must be yours, as you develop a strong unyielding will and the courage of your convictions.

Although you fear loneliness, you want to be left alone. You fear routine and being in a rut. You often jump the gun because you are afraid of being left behind.

The negative attributes of the 1 Expression are egotism and a self-centered approach to life. This is an aggressive number and if it is over-emphasized it is very hard to live with. You do not have to be overly aggressive to fulfill your destiny. The 1 has a natural instinct to dominate and to be the boss; adhering to the concept of being number One. Again, you do not have to dominate and destroy in order to lead and manage.

Your Soul Urge number is: 2

A Soul Urge number of 2 means:
With the Soul Urge number 2, your motivation is centered on friendships, partnerships, and companionship. You want to work with others as a part of a cooperative team. Leadership is not important to you, but making a contribution to the team effort is. You are willing to work hard to achieve a harmonious environment with sensitive, genial people.

In a positive sense, the 2 Soul Urge is sympathetic, extremely concerned and devoted. The nature tends to be very sensitive to others, always tactful and diplomatic. This element in your nature indicates that you are rather emotional. You are persuasive, but in a very quiet way, never forceful. You are the type that makes really close friendships because you are so affectionate and loving.

If this number is over-emphasized in your makeup, you may be over-sensitive, with a delicate ego that is too easily hurt. You may be timid or fearful, too easygoing for your own good.

Your Inner Dream number is: 8

An Inner Dream number of 8 means:
You dream of success in the business or political world, of power and control of large material endeavors. You crave authority and recognition of executive skills. Your secret self may have very strong desire to become an entrepreneur.

Everything's finally come to the surface

I am a people person. I thrive on the company of others. Too many days by myself starts to get to me. Today, the past month of being alone in Chapmanville finally came to a head. I'm not sure what exactly caused it, but I went to work about 30 minutes early to eat, and as I was sitting there, I found it difficult to choke back the tears.
I miss my boyfriend. I miss my friends in Morgantown. I miss the girls/guys I worked with. Generally, I just miss being around people that know me.
Now, I always miss someone, but growing up 5 hours away from the rest of my family has given me this way of dealing with it...I just don't. I guess that's the best way to put it. I don't typically consciously miss anyone. It's just an emotion that's always been there, but doesn't come out very often. I think I'm just used to it honestly. I don't necessarily think it's because I don't deal with it...I just know how to deal with it I guess. I don't know!
Anyway...once I talked to my friend Heather at work (we've practically grown up together) I felt MUCH better. Just being around that ONE person that knows me (even though we were never super close friends...we have TONS of memories together) made me ok again. *I know girls are emotional, and this post is nothing but that.*
I just need to find something to do. Not necessarily to occupy my time, or distract myself, but here's my typical day:
I sleep in *as late as possible*
take a shower
go to work evening shift
come home
talk to Bryan (which has been a lot of silence on my end because I do nothing, sorry babe)
go to bed
repeat.

I sleep in as late as I can because I have nothing else to do. This morning, I got up, went for a super short jog *it's WAY hard to jog when you haven't done it in years* ate breakfast, showered, then sat around until it was time to go to work.

I'm so used to being so busy all the time that this is KILLING me. I don't need to be as busy as I was *by ANY means* and I have learned how to relax since graduation, but this is the complete opposite of being busy. Bryan used to talk to me all the time about how I always needed something to do and I didn't know how to relax. Well, that was VERY true and I'm VERY thankful for him pointing that out because now I'm ok with laying around and just resting. HOWEVER, after 2 months of that...it's time to find something to do. My emotions need it. I know that might sound like a dumb statement, but it's very true. AND did I mention that 95% of the time I'm at my house...I'm alone, with kitties because my mom works 2 jobs.

I was in Morgantown last week, and it was the best I've felt since I've been home. I spent the majority of time with my roommate, Brandon, and Shane (three of my favorite people) and it did WONDERS for my soul. I have to head back up the day after Mother's Day to get the rest of my stuff and help clean the house because Sommer is moving out. I can't wait to be back there!

Anyway, this is just a bunch of ramblings, but I needed to say it all.
I feel much better!